livin’ on a prayer
We started saying prayers with Madeline consistently this month. We’ve always said them at mealtimes, and in her dayhome she knows the prayer that they sing before meals, but this past month or so we’ve begun the bedtime routine as well. It’s nothing elaborate; simply:
Angel of God, my guardian dear
to whom God’s love commits me here.
Ever this day, be at my side
to light, to guard, to rule, to guide.
Amen.
Madeline pipes in with some of the words, particularly “amen” which she likes to repeat over and over, some nights shouting it, others mumbling it into my shoulder.
Afterward we go through a list of “God bless”s, something that my mom always did with us when we were little. I make them up for her at this point; we pray that God blesses: Ahmie and Bampa and Lucy and Murray; Grandma and Papa Jim; Aunt Sarara and Jeremy and Timmy; Aunt Missy and Uncle Keith and Drew; Aunt Fifi; Aunt Amy and Uncle Vince and Caitlyn, Alex, Nick, and Michael (“Mikey!” she always interrupts here. ”Itsa MIKEY!”); Aunt Laura; Uncle Andrew; Nees and Ted; Meme and Taylor.
It’s become part of her routine now; she’s stopped asking where everyone is after I say their name now, anyway. When we rock she asks for “Mo’ payers, pees!” rather than the “Mo’ sing!” that she used to (though we still do that, of course).
I’ve gotten some raised eyebrows when I’ve told people that we’re saying prayers with her so early, but it just seems natural to me. It was strange to me not to say them with her, now that she’s talking so much. When I was young (and still now) I couldn’t go to sleep without saying my prayers. Each night we’d gather in one of the bedrooms (I shared with Sara; Sophie shared with Laura) and we’d kneel to say our prayers:
Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.
Four corners ’round my bed,
four angels ’round my head
to watch and guard me while I sleep.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee!
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be. Amen.
Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who tresspass against us.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory,
forever and ever. Amen.
Angel of God, my guardian dear,
to whom God’s love commits me here.
Ever this day, be at my side
to light, to guard, to rule, to guide. Amen.
Typing that all out, I could hear my mom’s and my sisters’ voices in my head, saying the words along with me. When we were through reciting them, we’d go through a “God bless” list that, depending on the night, could be a mile long. I can still hear that, too, and the common intercessions we’d ask for:
God bless Daddy and bring him home safe.
God bless Grandma and Grandpa, and bring them home safe.
We’d pray for our relatives or friends; for quite some time I recall praying for a family without a name a few towns away, one that our church had adopted for Christmas. I still pray for them, now and then, simply because their “name” pops into my mind.
Of course it helped us to learn our prayers so that we’d have an easier time in cathecism, but there was a learned measure of comfort there as well. I will always, always be so grateful to my mom for taking that time each night – because honestly, now that I’m a mom? Gosh, some nights that must have felt like it took days. I mean, my mom was home alone with us all day, every day. I can only imagine how long some days must have been, and that she took that time to build a foundation – it was good then, but it’s an even stronger lesson now that I have my own daughter to pass it on to.
When I’m feeling fearful I go through those prayers, the familiarity of them a security blanket that no one can take from me. When I am particularly anxious I say the rosary (usually in my head, though I always carry the actual rosary with me, in my purse). The rosary has gotten me through some tough times; I remember lying awake in the dark of my hospital room the night Madeline was born. She was asleep on my chest; I was awake and in pain and more than a little overwhelmed at what had happened. The words came to me and I repeated them over and over. I could hear my mom’s voice, my sisters’, and eventually calm returned.
I hope that one day mine will be the voice in Madeline’s head, repeating those ancient yet familiar words of comfort, of calm and peace.
(If I can be so nosy: What about you guys? Do you pray with your children? Why/why not?)
Filed under: Madeline, family, me | 6 Comments
Tags: parenting, prayers, rosary, traditions
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You don’t smell. But this is a topic that is sensitive for me. We don’t do formal praying the way that I did at night before I went to bed. We do say God Bless’s. I’m going to be talking about this tomorrow on my blog.
Thanks Cass… just realizing that maybe this was a sensitive topic and I didn’t think of it that way before posting. Can’t wait to hear your take!
First of all, who cares if it’s a sensitive topic? You handled it beautifully, simply explaining what you do with your daughter and why and how your experience has meant so much to you. It’s you blog, you can talk about whatever you want!
I haven’t been praying with Giuliana. My mom did pray with me when I was little and after reading this blog I was so touched by your beautiful description of how much it has meant to you all your life-I made John read it and he and I agreed it is something we should begin with G. So, you have had that much of an impact on me! I’m going to work on writing a little prayer poem to begin reciting. Thank you.
Those prayers are beautiful and I think Madeline’s versions and additions are adorable.
We’re what I call “sympathetic agnostic” over here and while I leave the concept of religion open to my children to decide on their own, I don’t pray with them. At least not in the religious sense. We believe in karma and energy and giving good and thinking good and sending good vibes.
Which I guess is the same thing in a different wrapper, right?
Nice post.
We started praying with AJU5 about a month or two ago. Now she “reminds” us to pray before eating and bedtime (we used to just pray silently at meal time because we would sit down at slightly different times). I think it is good to teach them habits early! Later we can explain the real meaning.
We’re praying before meals, and since AJ started at Catholic school, we’ve now added the sign of the cross before and after. (I thought we’d just start with the basics and add the “ornamentation” later. Hee.) So now KT is learning, too. She loves to announce, “Blessing! (Bes-een!)”
When AJ was a baby, I said bedtime prayers with him from a little book we had, but somehow that went by the wayside. We do “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep, See me safely through the night, and wake me with the morning light, Amen.” It seems gentler to me, even though I learned “If I should die…” when I was little.
My Granny said bedtime prayers with us if we spent the night at her house, but my parents didn’t, so it isn’t something I’m particularly attached to. I am trying to teach AJ that he can pray anytime, anywhere. On occassion, he’s wanted to say a “Thank-You God, for the beautiful rainbow” when we’re outside playing. (Maybe one occassion.)
I keep a rosary in my purse, too, even though I rarely say it. It’s comforting.