Archive for August, 2009
better
I feel… better. (I say this with shoulders hunched, braced for the impact of an oncoming train. I don’t trust better, not really).
I wonder what I’m missing, to feel happy. My mind is on a constant, vigilant search for the pin that will pop all of this happiness, this normalcy into thin air, sending me back [...]
Filed under: PPD, me, parenting | 10 Comments
Tags: parenting, PPD
let me count the ways
Last week Madeline began to count to ten.
This is what happens when I go to work, it seems: she busily plays with her friends at her dayhome, and she’s learning the entire time. When she’s home for the day with her Grammy, it’s even worse: total one-on-one attention, and by the time I get home [...]
Filed under: Madeline, family, milestones, parenting | 7 Comments
Tags: eighteen months, parenting, speech development, toddlers
not a big deal
I had a really great morning. Madeline woke up early (for her) at 6am; when I walked into the room to get her out of her prison crib she grinned up at me. “Hi!” she chirruped. Then, pointing at the rocking chair: “Rock! Rock?”
So we did, and I stroked her hair, and before I knew it [...]
Filed under: PPD, breastfeeding, family, me, pregnancy | 5 Comments
Tags: postpartum depression, PPD
getting it off my chest
I’m still upset about Madeline’s birth.
It’s a stupid thing, an infinitesimally small thing, but a thing for me nonetheless.
I wanted to be stronger. I wanted it to go differently. I wanted a normal, natural birth. Whatever that is, right? I read, I researched, Jimmy and I discussed pain management. What I thought might work for me. [...]
Filed under: me, pregnancy | 11 Comments
Tags: birth, birth wars, c-sections, Ricki Lake
spattergroit
If you’re thinking that the post title makes no sense, well, it probably doesn’t. Probably because you’re a Muggle who needs to go read up on Harry Potter, preferably as soon as possible. I started to type “scatterbrain” but what came out was “spattergroit” and I’m going with it. The magical among us will know [...]
Filed under: me, the money pit | 5 Comments
Tags: ceramic tile, football, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, home renovation, paint
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